Book 17: Lessons In French

Laura Kinsale's historicals are fun to read. The character of the bull was a bit dry though. Actually, being as I am from Nebraska, I really get enough cattle talk without it in my relaxation reading. The heroine has a bit of a boring shame spiral going on. I am a little tired of that old thing. Yes, she has freckles and red hair. B F D. She also has a crapzillion dollars-- of course no man could possibly really love her. Blah blah blah, yadda, yadda.

I want to believe

I have somehow gotten a desk that has more UFOs than Area 51. I am currently working on swatching lace up all over the place, plus a baby blanket, a dog bandana, a couple dishrags, another hedgie, and and the scarf left unfinished from Ravelympics. Since Lent is over and I just got my tax refund, I wanted to find something to bind it off. I looked at 3 places and nothing really struck my fancy, so I am going to thread a lifeline in and then rip it back 2 rows and use that yarn plus the yardage that is still wound off to do the picot bind-off.

I am, quite honestly psyched out by the loveliness and the cost of two sparkly, costly yarns in my stash. Tilli Tomas sequined silk lace and Dream in Color Starry. I know the sequined lace will be a huge pain to frog if I bork it up. Hence the littering of lace swatches all over the house. Turns out that since I am a left-handed-continental-mirror knitter that my k2tog leans to the right just like a righty. My ssk and psso though? Completely buggered. I have been looking at videos all over the place in order figure out the mechanics of my mistake. This morning I think I may have gotten it right. Instead of Slip 1, Knit 1, Pass Slipped Stich Over I am trying now to Knit 1, Return to needle, Slip next stitch over purlwise. I need to practice more until it feels natural, but it looks like the picture.

I bought a couple of small lace stitch pattern books yesterday at The Empire of Fundies-- Hobby Lobby. For a bunch of Jesus Freaks, they sure treat their customers like crap. You can't return books there at all because you 'might have copied them all'. Normally, I buy knitting books from bookstores for this very reason. They don't treat me like I might have stolen from them. I rec'd 2 knitting books from HL for Christmas that were not to my liking and I am stuck with them.

This brings me to another thought, a criticism of Ravelry, really. I love Ravelry, but I am in general opposed to heavy handed moderation of internet communities. Rav does not allow negative feedback on their board for any yarn shops or such like (well, except for chain stores because, Big Business is Eeeeevil.) Because of this, all positive feedback is suspect. Suppose a store has 4 people who love it all over Ravelry. How then are you to know that 5 people really, really hate it? It's like the Fox News of Yarn.

Book 16: Mister Impossible

A Loretta Chase novel recommended by the Smart Bitches (see the blogroll). I finished this some time ago. It was a fun regency romance. I tend to gravitate all my historical reading to that particular era. I don't really have anything to add on this you can't read from the Bitches. I just needed to keep my count somewhat on target.

Book 15: Not Quite A Lady

Another Loretta Chase, also recommended by the Bitches! In Not Quite a Lady, the heroine's secret, shameful past is actually a secret and shameful. I really liked the ending of this book. I have another couple of Chase books on my library queue for summer reading.

Book 14: Home is Where the Wine Is

Crazy Aunt Purl has another funny, philosophical memoir for us. It is not just a rehashing of the blog. There is new material in here. There are also patterns though I haven't done any of them yet. She has a lot of stories about reentering the dating scene. I would strongly encourage anyone wanting to read this book to read "Drunk, Divorced and Covered in Cat Hair" first. Or the archives of her blog. The context is good. CAP has some good dating and travel stories in here. If you have ever wanted to travel by yourself, her stories of doing so are great-- practically propaganda for the solo act.

Book 13: The Living Dead

Zombie Short Story anthology! The stories range from tragic, to terrifying, to NOT ACTUALLY CONTAINING REAL ZOMBIES. I resent the addition of metaphorical zombies and people just talking about their contingency plan. The bulk of the stories were good, don't mistake me. However, this ginormous book could have been a reasonable size if about 4 of the stories were left out. The opening story "This Year's Class Picture" was great-- the story of a lone teacher and her zombified charges. Also worth the read was "Malthusian's Zombie" which is creepy enough for a beginner to the zombie genre but not over the top gross. There are a lot of big names of horror in here and some smaller names, so this anthology would also be good to pick up for ideas of authors you may want to try.

Book 12: Coyote

This is the opener of a SF series on space exploration by Allen Steel. I read a short excerpt of this online and then felt compelled to get the full length novel. Imagine a future where the US has busted up into 4 nations. The South has all the rednecks and of course, they are persecuting the intellectuals and other dissidents. So what do the intellectuals do? (edited 5/1 for clarity) They steal a billion dollar space exploration vehicle, go into cryosleep, and wake up a couple hundred years later on a Strange New World-- Coyote, one of the moons of a distant planet. They set about building homes and lives and civilization. The 200 yr old teenagers grow up. And then, eventually, another ship shows up.

This book was very well written. The characters were great and the whole pioneer spirit was woven into the new future. I was not sure where the political parallels were going until the very end. I really approved of the final resolution. And that's all I want to say, because I would rather say too little of the book than too much.

There are other books in the series, and I expect they will be scattered throughout my summer.

Book 11: Lord Loss

Darren Shan's opening novel for this Demonata series makes the Vampire's Assistant series look like the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. Shortly into the book Grubb Grady loses his family when they are slaughtered by a demon named Lord Loss. He descends into nightmares, madness and grief. His Uncle Dervish comes for him and they retreat to the old family estate. This is the opener in a series. I don't think I have the stones for it. It's just too bleak. And I am on a non-bleak-self-medicating-books sort of kick. I actually finished this months ago and didn't even want to review it. I didn't dislike it, and I do think it's a good offering in the arena of tween-fantasy. It's just . . . not for me.

Book 10: A Girl's Guide To Vampires

Katie MacAlister writes some funny books in the contemporary arena. One of my coworkers gave me this one because she is all about the paranormal. This one was funny but the plot was sort of all over the place. Vampires, serial killers, crazy witches. My real peeve with the book was the hero's propensity for calling the heroine "baby". I hate that shit. The ending is pretty clearly a set up for a series. Sigh. It's all about the branding and the series I suppose. I don't know if I want to read the others in this particular series, but I may check out MacAlister's steampunk books. I do love the weird vintage engineering.

Book 9: Playing With Fire

Belle Jamison is a young woman with no career to speak of, practically no social life, and only 1 living relative who depends on her for material support. Clearly, what such a woman needs is uncontrollable superpowers, an idiot sidekick, and a hot boyfriend with a LOT of baggage. Fortunately, the scenes of Belle acting like a total moron are evenly spaced by two of my favorite things: sex and ass-kicking. It's a C-level book. On a beach I would have loved it. Before and after work during some truly awe-inspiring levels of PMS, meh.

The Agony of Defeat

A heartbreaking loss in the 2010 Winter Knitting Games.

First, I didn't swatch, because swatches lie anyway. So I got about 60% done and decided the body of the scarf, done in stockinette, was too tight, and I needed a garter stitch border as well as a bigger needle. So I frogged it mercilessly during a conference call at work.

My next attempt had a bit too much garter along the lace side edge after the increases. I ripped it out a second time, but was only about 10% along that time.

I was not sure I'd have enough yarn, so I thought I'd alternate rows with a 3rd skein I had of the yarn from a different dyelot. Alternating rows is supposed to work! The internet says so! The internet lies. Froggy Frog Froggerson.

I was about 40% into it again, and realized I had an entire garter stitch row about 4 inches below where I was. RIPPIT, RIPPIT.

Today, I started the lace border and I ended up ripping it out and restarting it because I had buggered the increases.

Finally, FINALLY I got the lace edge as I like it but it is apparent I do not have enough yarn for a picot bind off and I don't think it will look right with a straight bind off. So the Scawl (Scarf-Shawl) is going to hang about on the 60 inch circular needle until I can get some black yarn so I can knit a border all around and then do the picot bind off.

Did I mention I gave up buying yarn and books for Lent. Oh yes, I did. I thought I'd give the savings to charity. Looks like I will actually be giving it to Charlie's Dentist. Darth Vader costume. Cape-related accident. You get the idea.

Book 8: The Ten Word Game

I learned a new word! The style of this narrative is picaresque. Other books in this style are Don Juan, Tom Jones, and presumably, Diary of a Man Whore.

The single named protagonist of this is Lovejoy. Apparently there are a gajillion novels in the series and this just happens to be the one I picked up. Lovejoy is a 'divvy', a diviner who can feel it in his body if he is in the presence of a genuine antique vs a fraud. It doesn't sound like a pleasant experience. I don't know either, how this is supposed to work in London where so many of the buildings are older than most everything in Nebraska, for instance.

There are a lot of characters in this book-- more characters than intrigue I am sorry to say. And of course, Lovejoy boinks all of the women. He's one of those annoying men who says they love all women when really it's that they love having sex with all women and don't actually love any specific woman. I find this sort of man supremely irritating. Shocking, right? I sort of suspect a little of the Unreliable Narrator in that all the women he meets really want to have it off with him. He's not eloquent and he seems to eat like a pig. Since the earliest book came out in 1977, it's not like he's in his prime or anything. Do you suppose when he drops trou' that the Old Man Smell emanates from his junk?

Lovejoy (seriously, is he a granola-gigolo?) has all sorts of quaint slang-- Making Smiles in the Lantern Hours. DONNEZ MOI UNE BREAK. The only worse euphemism for sex can be found on infertility bulletin boards: Baby-dancing. "The kids are staying overnight at my mother in law's so we are making smiles. Yeah, I am gonna babydance his brains out" No. Just. . . No.

The persona is bigger than the mystery, which doesn't make it much of a mystery.

Book 7: Darkest Hour

The 4th Mediator book. This time. . . it's personal! Suze's hot, ghostly roommate is the focus of this one. They are installing a hot tub and the digging unearths a box of letters that Jesse got from his fiancee, Maria de Silva, before he died. This brings Maria's ghost around and she is both stupid and angry. A delightful combination to be sure. Suze also meets a young kid who happens to be a mediator. You would think this would make her reevaluate her rather violent ghost busting methods, but not so much. It should be interesting to see if she ever grows up and learns to get along with the undead.

Curling is Not A Sport

In the Knitting Olympics. All that Stockinette was making a giant tube so I frogged the hell out of it. I was on a conference call where I'd have preferred to be ripping people verbally. Stupid Team Player. I tried a bit of seed stitch but I had trouble with the counting after increases. So, I am going to reknit on larger needles, with a garter stitch border.

Book 6: Reunion

Another Mediator installment from Meg Cabot. Suze is sort of in a rut. She is clinging to her ass-kicking ways instead of MEDIATING. I think Fr. Dominic should have her look up the word in the dictionary. The 4 angry ghosts in this one are pretty much vapid jocks who have it in for the guy who caused their fatal crash. Unfortunately, that guy is a nerd and there is some antinerdism in this book. Do Not Want.

Book 5: The Vampire's Assistant

The second Darren Shan book. This one is Even More Gross and Scary! I am pretty sure my younger kid is going to love these some day. Darren is travelling around with Mister Crepsley, getting the hang of being half Vampire- half Human. He misses having friends so they meet back up with the Cirque du Freak so Darren can be friends with Snakeboy. Mister Crepsley is a pretty sympathetic character in this book. Again, there are a series of events spiralling out of control and leading ultimately to a pretty downer ending. From reading the prologue of the 3rd, looks like that will be more of the same. It's nice that the Vampire Lifestyle is not glamorized. Snicker. That must be so comforting for the type of Christian who thinks the Harry Potter books are Satanic Propaganda.

Book 4: The Ninth Key

This is the second of the Mediator books by Meg Cabot. Suze is looking into a local real estate big shot who may be a murderer. Or maybe he's a vampire. In any event, his son is a hottie mctottie. This one seemed like there was a lot going on in terms of the plot. Not in a complex way so much as in convoluted. It was still pretty funny though. I would like to see Cabot do a little more research though about the Catholic church if she is going to keep Suze in Catholic school.

Book 3: Cirque Du Freak: Living Nightmare

Darren Shan has written a series of Vampire novels for younger readers-- tweens? They are not quite for the young adult shelf. In this first one, the main character (also named Darren Shan) attends a Freak Show where he sees some amazing performances but also gets sucked into a chain of events that are beyond his control.

Darren and his buddy, Steve(?) attend, and after the show his buddy stays behind. He has seen and recognized that one of the freaks is an old Vampire (Mister Crepsley)he read about in a book. Darren stays behind because he is drawn to a magnificent performing spider, but seeing his friend confront Crepsley gives him ideas. Darren decides to come back later and steal the spider, leaving a note that says he will expose Crepsley if he comes after the spider. It's really true to the logic of a kid that age, to think they have the upper hand but have really not thought all the way through things. It is not as fun as you might think-- delivering that sort of smackdown to the short-thinking kid. Darren doesn't plan for the spider being poisonous. Nor does he plan for Mr. Crepsley being the only way to get anti-venom. Or for the payment he will have to make. Even after Darren makes good on his deal to Mister Crepsley, he tries to avoid the ultimate consequences of it.

The creepy factor of the book was greater than I had imagined a kids book would have. It's been a while since I read kids' books and the scary ones were not half as scary as the original forms of most fairy tales. The whole kids section at Books A Million (who has the biggest by far in the Omaha area) seems to be busting at the seams with fantasy, horror, and sci-fi books lately. I am eager to read more of it by other authors. I think the Sisters Grimm series is promising.

Book 2: My Life In France

I finished this one in the second week of January and I liked it so well I didn't want to review it. I don't wat to sell it too highly to others who might not overlook its shortcomings.

The food-- oh the food. Lovingly described in detail over and over. It's not a book for dieters. Too much suggestion. Too much tempation.

The storytelling is mostly linear with many, many tangents. It was a lot like talking to my Grandmother used to be. sniff Julia speaks warmly of those she loves and pretty plainly about those she did not. (Also like Grandma B.) Julia is lefty in her politics and describes her repeated clashes with her father over their differences. I feel for her-- it is often difficult with my dad who, like hers, can't just agree to disagree. She is somewhat circumspect about her husband, Paul's, government job and how they handled the McCarthyism and other Cold War challenges.

If you are thinking of writing a book, Julia's account may scar you for life. My GOD! She makes it seem like a total pain in the ass. Of course, she also had to hand type everything and send it by overseas mail.

Citius, Altius, Fortius

I'm knitting a worsted weight baktus-style scarf, with an added on ruffle (in a nonprincess sort of manner) for the 2010 Knitting Olympics. I am eager to cast on tonight during the opening ceremonies. For my training, I have knitted 3 more hats so far this year for the charity bin. I think I am getting a bit of the repetitive stress injury from the combination of computer work and knitting fun.


In other yarnly news, I have fallen behind in the picture taking of finished objects as well as the stash-logging at Ravelry. I did finally break down and get the interchangeable harmony wood needles from Knit Picks. They Are Fantastic. So much slicker and pointier than clover. I am tempted to take a pencil sharpener to my other bamboo needles.